My Shiny Happy Life…

So its almost a year since I started this blog and I have been doing a lot of reflecting and assessing over my life and the direction in which I am going. And I am making some pretty major, scary decisions. I mean really life changing. I am apprehensive because I am about to take a massive leap into the unknown, and I’m really hoping that all these quotes about ‘taking the leap and building your wings on the way down’ and ‘Everything has a way of working out’ are true. Because truth be told I am only learning to listen to my gut instinct and I’m almost 30. I guess it takes everyone different lengths of time to trust their own feelings and learn how to make the right decisions. Or sometimes things just have to get to a point so bad that you can no longer remain in them, no matter how scary the jump you just have to do it…

Catherine, xo

Be true to yourself

Sometimes life takes over and time slips by without our noticing. The daily routine, the hum drum of our basic survival, working, eating and resting. Time ticks away and we get on with the lives we have created for ourselves. What happens when one day something happens which makes us stop and take stock of where we are, what we are doing, who we are doing it with and whether we are actually being true to ourselves and our aspirations.

#1. Ok – So life rarely turns out as we imagine

But we have to have faith that it will turn out for the best. Sometimes the wrong decisions actually lead us down the right path to what will truly make us happy and content. It is important to continually reassess our decisions and ensure that they are leading us in the direction we wish to go.

#2. Don’t remain for the sake of it

It can be easy to drift along in a situation, in a job we hate or in a relationship which doesn’t fulfil us because of the gut wrenching turmoil we will be launched into once we decide to get out of a position or a relationship. But we must remember to ask ourselves are we content to trundle along in a mediocre or unhappy position because of the fear of change and the unknown. It is worth it in the long run or are you just postponing the inevitable?

#3. Be honest with yourself

Are you truly happy? Do you surround yourself with people who stimulate and inspire you? Project your life forward 5 years, if you continue along the path you are on will it lead you to happiness or will you still be searching and unsettled?

 

Be strong. Trust your feelings. Trust your gut and go with it. Trust that everything will work out in the end. Be your own best friend.

Catherine, xo

What to do when you don’t know what to do…

Decisions, decisions, decisions… what life is all about… deciding what to follow as a career, where to live, who to marry and whether or not to have a family? But what do you do when the options are difficult, take you to places you never anticipated and life just isn’t as you anticipated? (ok – it rarely is)

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#1. Be sure of who you are.

Before you can make decisions you need to know yourself. Don’t make knee jerk decisions about your life purely based on circumstance. Think of your long term happiness. Try this – 5 ways to get to know yourself

#2. Ask yourself what it is that you don’t want?

Sometimes thinking of what things you don’t want can make you into realise what it is that you actually do want. eg. I don’t want to work in a job which doesn’t fulfil me, I don’t want to live in the city, I don’t want to miss opportunities because I am scared of change…

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#3. What is best for you – baby steps / massive change / longer contemplation then action

How do you implement your decisions, do you act quickly and make big sudden changes which you are able to commit to or do you take baby steps towards your goal?

{I was lost so I}

{Miss wallflower}

{They all hate us}

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#4. DO SOMETHING!

Do not remain static… move in some direction.

‘Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance, you must keep moving’

Albert Einstein

How do you make big life decisions?

Catherine, xo

Olympics Inspiration – ACT

‘Never wait for the proper mood to start a thing, nor until the spirit moves you. Make your own mood. Make your own spirit. How? ACT. Do something-anything. Inspiration seldom generates action. Action always creates inspiration.’

{Author Unknown} 

The past two weeks have been a Olympics frenzy, the world has been gripped by the games – the amazing achievements from our athletes, the spectacle which was the opening and closing ceremonies and the organisation of the entire event. The olympics really has lifted our spirits, captured our imaginations and inspired a generation.

{Aria}

What can we all take from the Olympic athletes?

#1. Believe in yourself – If you don’t how can you expect anyone else to?

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#2. Aim for the moon and you’ll land among the stars. – Set your sights high

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#3. Persist – It takes hard work, determination, motivation and dedication to succeed

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#4.Take inspiration from others who have achieved their goals. Whatever your goal is seek out others who have successfully achieved it. Learn from them

#5. You are too smart to be the only thing standing in your way. Take responsibility for your own destiny and happiness. No-one else can do it for you.

{CrystalKiss}

#6.Take support where you can. The athletes most certainly did not achieve their successes without the encouragement, love and practical support of their coaches, family and friends. If you can – join a group of people with similar interests or focus. Research has found that the power of community is one of the most effective methods of making progress – whether it be anything from sports training to weight loss we all perform better as part of a group.

{eStyleMe}

#7.Keep the dream alive – remind yourself often what you are working towards… don’t allow smaller events or setbacks to knock you off course.

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‘The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something. Its as simple as that. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today.’

{Robert Browning}

How has the Olympics inspired you?

Catherine, xo

Remember :: to live in the present

‘Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift.

That’s why we call it the present.’

{vogue loves me}

Our days have become hectic swirls of organising, working, planning and whilst trying to keep on top of the latest news, beauty products and trends. We are expected to have it all and know it all. We compare ourselves to those around us, friends, siblings and colleagues – putting unrealistic demands upon ourselves to look our best, be our fittest and all whilst juggling family, careers and running a household. As a result we often find ourselves living in a constant state of procrastination (for missing that gym class -again) and telling ourselves that our lives will be perfect as soon as we lose a stone, get that job or new house. We know, if we actually stop and think about it how ridiculous it is to truly believe this and to live our lives this way. But we still do…

{Miika Järvinen}

…and the funny thing is we put this pressure on ourselves. Battering abusive comments around our heads for not being good enough, for being weak or lacking in willpower when we break the latest diet. It is all too easy to lose sight of the positives when we weigh ourselves down with negatives. And it is easy to be negative.

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Gain Perspective

#1. Its a Good Life

Remind yourself of all the great things which you have in your life and be thankful. Family, friends, physical and financial security, lovely wholesome food and your health. Its all too easy to take these things for granted…

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#2. Stop

Take time out from your busy schedule switch off your phone, laptop and TV. Relax, enjoy the silence and be mindful. Consider learning how to effectively meditate.

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#3. Assess

How often do you spend valuable time – with your family and friends or even just on your own? Make a conscious effort to allocate your time wisely.

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#4. Give yourself a break

You cannot do everything and be everything – the sooner you realise this the more content you will be. Retain perspective on what’s most important in life and concentrate on this.

{A Cup of Jo}

#5. Give yourself a pat on the back

We tend to minimise our achievements. If someone praises you accept it gracefully and acknowledge to yourself that you truly deserved it.

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#6. Wear now

We all have that beautiful piece of clothing or jewellery which we ‘keep for a special occasion’ Wear everything in your closet. Get the value out of that expensive dress. Wear it often and enjoy the feeling. Life is too short.

{Romantic Journeys}

#7. Look for the good in every day.

Every day has something new in it. Whether you meet someone new, learn something or simply enjoy walking the dog, focus on the positives…

{Happiness is}

{Urban Outfitters}

How do you live in the present?

Catherine, xo

Remember :: Your Friendships

A couple of months ago I wrote about my top 30 before 30 and one of them was to make a new social circle. Having since moved, I am being to realise the difficulties in making friendships. When we are at school or university we have so much time to invest in our relationships and as such we truly get to know our friends inside and out. As we get older, we rarely have the time to invest in new relationships and perhaps if we have a partner or  marry this doubles the difficulty – as not only does the person have to be compatible with you but their partner also needs to be compatible with yours!

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Many relationships developed later in life are through work, when spending time with someone on a daily basis allows the relationship to grow as you learn more about the person and enjoy spending time with them. If you are lucky enough to share a work environment with like-minded people! However for someone who runs their own business or works from home, this unfortunately is not an option.

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You must be find courage and confidence to introduce yourself to people, get involved with new activities and groups and above all stay open to new people and experiences. Put in the effort required.

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This has served to highlight and remind me how much I value my friendships with my ‘old’ school & university friends and how lucky I am to have such great people in my life, whom I can depend upon. I realise these relationships must be maintained and nurtured. Not allowed to wither or fall apart.

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Relationships take effort – whether with your partner/parents/siblings/friends – as with all aspects of life you get out what you put in…

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I am extremely lucky to have met one lovely friend here, and that was due to spending an extended period of time together waiting on a delayed flight… Reinforcing the fact that it takes time to make friends – or to even get past the initial swapping numbers to meet for a coffee!

Why not give that friend that you haven’t spoken to in a while a buzz?

Remember the things that are important in life…

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Catherine, xo

UPDATE

Great article on this topic in the New York Times by Alex Williams

Friends of a certain age – why is it hard to make friends over the age of 30?

Remember :: take risks

‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’

You can’t get anywhere unless you are willing to take a risk. We take risks every day that we don’t even think twice about, getting into a car or crossing the road to placing our trust in other people. We have to take a certain level of risk in all areas of our life if we are to move forward, however in this fast changing and increasingly uncertain world, how do we know when to play it safe and hold onto what you have or when to take a leap of faith and risk it for possibly greater gains.

#1. Beyond your comfort zone

In order to grow and develop as a person, we must step beyond our comfort zone and push ourselves. Be open to new experiences, places and people. Be the best you can be and live your life to the full. In the words of the Baz Luhrmann song Everybodys Free (to wear sunscreen)

 ”Do one thing every day which scares you”

#2. Optimist or Pessimist?

Our outlook on life has a impact on our risk taking. If we believe that by taking risks generally the positives of taking the risk outweigh the negatives we are much more likely to take the leap. And psychologists have frequently demonstrated that people tend to overestimate the likelihood of positive things happening to them and underestimate the negatives. It is necessary to have a certain amount of self-confidence and optimism if we wish to meet our goals in life, but it also important to be fully aware of what the downsides could be and be prepared for them too.

‘Aim for the moon and you’ll land among the stars’

#3. Thrillseeker

Some people thrive on taking risks and become easily bored constantly looking for the next adventure or challenge. Thrillseekers tend to have a relaxed view of the future, living by the motto ‘it will all work out for the best in the end’ –  Although many people would faint at the thought of taking some of the risks that a thrillseeker would, there are a couple of lessons we can all learn from them; taking risks and trying new experiences generally makes for a more interesting and exciting life. Taking risks opens up your perspective on life as you travel to new places, meet new faces and try new experiences. This type of personality is generally ‘happy go lucky’ and having an optimistic, relaxed attitude to life is definitely a good thing!

#4. All that’s left…

Sometimes we reach a point in our lives where we actually have no choice but to jump. Whether it be because we have been thrown into unemployment, going through a divorce or simply because to remain in the same position would just be too unbearable and we have to trust and have faith that what lies ahead will be worth the risk.

Are you a risk taker?

Catherine, xo

image (1) Pinterest (2) Pinterest (3) Pinterest (4) Its no piece of cake (5) Pinterest

 

Remember … To be thankful

Its been a really good couple of weeks, although there have been a few ups and downs. I got bad news and good news, but I have consciously reminded myself of all the things in my life I have to be happy about and I stamp out any negative thoughts that may creep into my head or words and replace with positive ones. This is not always easily done and it is a habit that needs to be practised. It is now 3 weeks since I have made a concerted effort to make lifestyle changes, with my attitude, food, and exercise. And the effects have been amazing.

#1. My mood is fantastic…

I feel like a different person. Not only have I managed to reduce the amount of sugar in my diet which has really helped my cravings and mood swings, but I have lost 5 pounds in weight.

#2. I exercise every day…

Whether it be going for a run, doing a circuits class or simply walking the dog. I move. Every. day. And I am loving it!

#3. I eat whole foods

I have eliminated all processed food. I cook everything from scratch, and I cut the crap.

#4. I have cut out Alcohol

This is not something which I plan to do long term, I’d miss my glass of wine too much! But for now, whilst trying to get in shape I am having an alcohol-free beer instead. And I honestly don’t feel like I’m missing out…

#5. I believe in myself

I know that I can do this. I know it is going to take time and patience. But it will be so worth it. And I will do it.

 

Catherine, xo

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What’s stopping you?

I picked up this book whilst browsing in an airport bookstore recently – thought it looked interesting and might provide some useful pointers to help me tackle my continual procrastination and gain clarity within my life.

The book is divided into five parts

#1. What is stopping you?

Key feeling addressed in this chapter is fear and how it stops us from achieving our goals. The fears which actually stop us are usually mundane, private and we may not even chose to acknowledge the impact which they actually have on our lives… The result of this fear can display itself in many ways from anger to anxiety and frustration. In order to make progress we must address these responses and take responsibility for them.

TO-DO – start a diary.

This will help to identify emotions, patterns and thoughts, physical feelings and actions. I started doing this since completing the book, and bought a lovely small, compact leather notebook in which to start my journal/diary, and the major benefit I have found initially is that writing down everything helps to get things ‘off my chest’ and out of my head. I sleep more soundly…

#2. Goals

‘Act or be acted upon’

Stephen Covey’s Seven habits of highly effective people.

 I love these quotes or mantras – they always drive the message home in short, sharp sentence.

Without proactivity you are condemned to make no progress in life. And without goals you are prone to becoming the tools of those with goals. Yet strong goal-setting can generate excitement and positivity before you have taken the first step.’

Kelsey also recommends a powerful tool in goal setting is to visualise your goals, imagine what your life will be like/ look like/ feel like when you have reached your goal. Project 10 years ahead to what you wish your life to be like then step back 5 years, where do you need to be? Step back another few years and identify at each step where you need to be at in order to be on track for the ultimate goal. Once you have identified this then work out what you need to do this year, this month, this week and how you can make a start TODAY.

#3. Execution

Develop your strategy, that is how your tactics will meet your objectives. This strategy must take into account your weaknesses and strengths and your tactics are the tiny steps you take each day which will ultimately lead you to your goal. Set yourself up to be as effective as possible whilst executing your strategy, organise yourself, schedule your time correctly. Reassess your progress regularly and deal with interruptions, roadblocks and time-wasting which will all halt your journey.

#4. People

No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent’

Eleanor Roosevelt

Reframe your thoughts and traits which undermine your confidence and self –esteem. Think positively of those around you and it will help your own self view. Humans naturally focus on negative. If you received 100 compliments and 1 insult, it is human nature to dwell on the insult, but you can see how insignificant it can be in the wider context. And it depletes our optimism, happiness and motivation to be negative, so make a conscious effort to be more positive today.

#5. Me inc.

The final section of the book addresses how to fulfil dream of becoming an entrepreneur… who is ‘typically’ seen as someone who is naturally optimistic, confident, ambitious, inspirational and who are good-at everything! However there is no such thing as a typical entrepreneur, these traits may match the likes of Richard Branson or Lord Sugar but all an entrepreneur needs is – a strong desire to work for themselves, commitment and organisation. Yes you will be scared, but that fear is a fear of freedom which is much sweeter.

This book will become a reference book for me as I work through the advice Kelsey provides. It makes you think about the actual cause of my procrastination and how to be more effective in working towards goals.

So, whats stopping you??

Catherine, xo

Images (1) Robert Kelsey (2) Flickr – The Crazy Film Girl (3) Stephen Covey (4) Msnbc

How to be happy

We are all in the pursuit of happiness, for me it is the most important thing in life (and why I included it in the name of my blog!) if we are unhappy it affects all areas of our life. The key is understanding what we believe to be happiness & how we can achieve it in our lives… All too often we mistakingly pursue the ‘hedonic’ happiness. The kind that comes from buying that new must have handbag, when really we should be looking for ‘eudaemonic’ happiness which is about contentment & satisfaction which comes when your life has meaning and purpose. Community work, Volunteering and working towards fulfilling and rewarding personal goals such as training for a run all help long term happiness.

5 steps to happiness
#1. Positivity!
Of course this had to be number one… Rewire that negative bias in your head to glow with happiness! Regularly remind yourself to think positively and watch those draining negative comments which don’t only have an effect on your personal happiness, but also those around you. It’s easy to be negative but not best.

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#2. Stop complaining and whining
Watch how much you are focusing on the negative. Complaining achieves nothing. Just get on with it and work harder. This will benefit not only your happiness but your friendships and work life. No-one enjoys spending time with a moaner!

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#3. Spend time with your friends
Be sure to schedule time in diary to catch up with your girlfriends. Having real connections with like minded people boosts your happiness levels.

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#4. Do a ‘good turn’
Helping others or doing something selfless for the good of another human being has huge rewards for happiness levels. Reflect on what your deeper values are in life and what you can do everyday to help another person out.

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#5. Make goals
Following on from my post yesterday remember to take time out sometimes to assess where you are in life and if you are going the direction you want to be. Studies have found working to goals increase motivation commitment and ultimately happiness.

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Coming soon-how to set goals…
What goals do you have?

Catherine,xo

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